NDE

The Near Death Experience

More than anything else I wish I could convince everyone that the NDE is a very real experience of Heaven!

Perhaps you would like to know why I feel so strongly about it....it will take some telling...but I'm game, if you're willing to read it all....here goes.....

It was around 1977. I was using my psychic abilities to earn a living....something I have only done when absolutely necessary. Times were hard and I worked very hard, throwing myself into each project that came along.

A woman came to me in a great deal of emotional pain.

She had recently had an abortion. After the fact, she learned that she had been further along in her pregnancy than had been thought.....the fetus had been female.

She regretted having had the abortion and was obsessed with where her child was then. She was especially concerned that the baby was in Heaven and knew that she, the mother, was sorry for having had the abortion.

This woman was genuinely suffering and I didn't have any idea of what to do to help her.

It was actually her suggestion that I put myself into a trance state and try to make contact with the baby.....Eileen.

I had never done anything like what she suggested and told her as much. But she implored me to try....so I did.

The first thing I experienced was a dizziness and a sense of whirling at a very fast speed.

Everything was dark and I was afraid....and I felt as though I was falling through space.

And I called out to God to help me.

Then everything was beautiful and I knew there was nothing to fear.

I heard music of bells and voices.

And then I began to see beings of light (angels) that held me and reassured me that all was well with Eileen.

And that was it.....I was back in my living room, sitting in front of the fireplace with this woman who was staring into my face....waiting for my first word.

I told her Eileen was well....with God in Heaven....and that it was for her to forgive herself for what she had done.

I didn't take any payment for this because I felt I had been allowed to see something sacred.

End of Part One of NDE

For weeks after the experience of seeking Eileen I was unable to resist trying to find out more....and I was allowed to see more....and I wrote down all that I learned.

When Song of Light was finished, I was never able to make the connection again and I stopped trying after only a few attempts because I knew in my heart that I had seen all that I was going to see for the time being.

What follows is what I have written, rewritten and rewritten again and again... It tells about what I felt/saw when I was seeking Eileen and then later when I was trying to learn more....I call it "Song of Light".

Song of Light

I go with the wind......on a journey to the Light,
distant, shimmering, brilliant white.

Moving through darkness......lost and alone,
further and further into the unknown.

So afraid......I tremble and quail.
Bemoaning my fate, I whimper and wail.
And I'm falling, falling down, down into the nether.

I cry out......"Oh, God! Please God, hear my plea.
Please, God, save me!

Suddenly all fear is gone.......

There's the soft caress of a gentle breeze.
I am safe......my soul is at ease.

Music, sweet music...the sound of tinkling bells,
with hope, and joy, and with love, it swells.

A chorus of voices from everywhere......

To the glory of God the universe sings,
a song of angels, with feathered wings.

No longer am I alone.......

Beings of light surround me, protect me
and take me higher.
Guiding me through a wondrous space,
as to the Light we rise and spire.

Beholding bright unspoken truth,
My heart is filled with compassion and ruth.

Drifting through oceans of knowledge, unseen, floating and learning, calm and serene.

It’s time now to recall my life......

to remember the joy and remember the strife.

I was afraid not to be happy.
I sang and I danced to hide my pain.
I girdled myself with the heavy chain
that the lust for wealth and material things,
and the love of money always brings.

But now I see and I understand......

My life was always mine to command.
The wisdom of "All That Is" is mine
and so my life is for me to define.

I empathize now......as I couldn't before.
Petty wrongs I choose to ignore.

For, always, I was kind, with a gentle, loving heart.
I gave of myself to others and always did my part.

Now I put all this behind me......It was only for me to see.
I lived, I loved and I learned.
That's why life was given to me.

Bathed in my own forgiveness......

washed clean, and filled with love,
I soar now through the heavens
to the beautiful Light above.

And the Light asks......

"Beloved child, will you come unto me?"

Then my heart knows the essence of "yes"......

a wonderful, thrilling, peacefulness,
I know not how to express.

In the Light......is a part of me I left so long ago.
It has been here waiting for me, while I lived a life below.

I am happy......

and with a sigh of ecstasy I give unto The Light the all of me.

Now I am and shall ever be

with the Light,
distant, shimmering, brilliant white.

Joan Kirk 1977

End of Part Two of NDE

Several months later I was with a friend and we were on our way to see a movie. I don't remember which movie but I do remember that it was playing at the Ardmore theater in Ardmore, Pa. and it was pouring rain. I had to park the car pretty far from the theater and we were both hurrying along under one umbrella but the downpour was so very heavy that the umbrella did little or no good so we ducked into a book store to get out of the rain for a bit.

I walked directly to the back of the store and raised my right hand well above my head and plucked out a small book. It was entitled 'Life After Life' by Raymond Moody.

That's odd, I thought...as I paid for the book. Yes, it did stop raining and we went on to see the movie. When we left I tossed the book into the back seat of my car and thought no more of it for several weeks. Finally, while cleaning out the car one day, I found the book and decided to read it.

It changed my life forever!

I realized what the author had written of what he called the Near Death Experience or NDE was exactly what I had seen so clearly on the attempts I had made to learn what follows death.

Talk about being shook up.....I tried to reach Raymond Moody by every avenue I could think of...I called, I wrote, I wrote again and again telling him about the strange circumstances under which I had purchased his book and I enclosed a copy of Song of Light....all to no avail....I never received a response.

However, years later I saw Raymond Moody on a television special about the NDE and he talked about the hundreds and hundreds of people who had written to him about the strange and unusual circumstances under which they had purchased his book....one man said he had been hit on the head by the book, as it slipped off the shelf and bonkered him into buying it. So....my experience was not unique....that set me to thinking again....and wondering (I have always wondered about things....about many, many things).

Why had this happened to me? Why had I been allowed to see for a short period of time and then the compulsive writing of it...and being compelled to rewrite again and again???

Who knows?

There have been times when I've thought perhaps I imagined all of it.....but then.......just what is imagination....who knows?

I've recently learned that I have been walking around (nobody knows for how long) with three tumors in my brain that have caused the tissue to swell and press against the inside of my skull.....could that have caused this.....I don't think so....but who knows?

I have a little part of the experience within me, though. When I meditate or when I'm drawing the angels (especially the archangels) if I grow very quiet and still and sort of try to feel my heart (I don't know any other way to describe this) I can feel a little thing in my heart that's kind of like a little goldfish, splashing around and so very happy. The sensation I experience as I feel this is one of being totally loved, without restriction; a beautiful and wonderful experience.

Does this come from the tumors....do I have something wrong in my heart....who knows?

GOD KNOWS

And, from these and other experiences I have had, I know there really is a God who loves every one of us and wants us to learn to love each other.

End of Part Three of NDE

Part Four will be added here shortly.

Want to participate in an investigation and discussion of the Near Death Experience?

Send me an email at angels@AngelicArtistry.com

In the subject line of your email please type NDE and your name and if you want to participate in discussion group be sure to include your icq number in your email.

Now all I have to do is learn how to use that pesky icq thingy.....Joan Kirk x

Please purchase the book "Life After Life" by Raymond Moody. It's not an expensive book but it will have great impact on how and what you think about death.

October 16, 1998

By now I had hoped to have a lot of material on the website that we could begin with in our exploration of NDEs. Seeing doctors almost every day and fighting this monster called cancer takes a lot of time...and then I'm tired from all the activity and have to give up on completing any of the work for the NDE page.

However, there is something I 'believe' almost to the point of 'knowing'.

One of our first discussions will be about the difference between believing and knowing....in the meantime you might want to jot down a list of things you believe...and those that you know....this is very important....and will make a lot more sense to you as we go along.....an example....you 'know' the sun will come up tomorrow.....but you 'believe' it will be a beautiful day.

Once you've experienced something .... you no longer need to believe it...you will have had first hand knowledge and you will, instead 'know' it.

Actually, if there were proof that God exists, faith and believing would not be necessary, because we would have the proof of it.....

Here's something else I would like to share with you. Albert Einstein was considered to be a psychic. After many years of searching for evidence, he finally surmised his knowledge and experience by stating emphatically......God does exist. Of course, he phrased it differently....he said "The universe is friendly"

When he elaborated on the point, he said the chance of the world and life as we know it happening by accident was ridiculous and had about as much probability as....

I forget the rest of what AE said....I'll try to find it.

But the point is many people do not feel that the NDEs are legitimate....and I agree with many of their arguments....however, we cannot know ....we can only 'believe' what hasn't been proven to us.

And I ask you.....is it better to believe in a beautiful moral teaching (religion) than to deny any creator???

The way of the doubter leads to madness!

Okay....back to what I started to tell you....this is what I've come to believe happens at death.....

Yes, first the separation of soul from body and the feeling of the spirit moving...but...more importantly.....the lights......

I'm sure you've all heard about going into the light.....but you might be interested in my interpretation of the 'light'...

First, it's not going to be some small acceptable light...it will be huge....white beyond anything we have ever seen or known....and it will probably strike terror into the hearts of even of bravest of us.

And you will need to go into this light....you will need to be very brave and you won't be able to dilly-dally about making up your mind....

And here's the gist of it.....

Your bravery, and whether it's enough for you to move into the light, will be in a direct ratio to how much love and kindness you have bestowed on others during your lifetime.

If you haven't given of yourself enough, and if you have not given all the love you are capable of giving, you will remain in the shadows thinking about those you've hurt. or even those you didn't help when you could have. The only thing of comfort will be the memory of those who have loved you.

I have no questions about what happens to those who are afraid to enter the light and I have no thoughts to offer on it.....I'm just working really hard to get into Heaven myself!

I just wanted to get this on the website so you have something to think about before we meet in our chatroom.... which I promise will be soon. And, being in a unique situation because of having terminal cancer....I'm hoping I will have some insight I can pass on to you.